The Origin of Wisdom

Hearing depressive music and closing both eyes helps me to transport my mind to a different place. I like to imagine I am the player of those songs I hear, and it's just me sitting in the middle of my apartment playing my piano, in a far place where everything is fine, where I have a good job, and my mom is happy, my brother is happy, where I no longer have all the preoccupations I have now. Anything that helps me get out of reality for a second or two is pleasant for me. Alleviates all the damage in my head and scares away the negativity I manage to create every second of the day. Sadly though, I still have to wake up, stand up my skeletal body with my rotten soul, and carry it to the end of the day.  I think I'm going to listen some music now. Play some videogames. And sleep to the next day.

I probably won't. And learning how to live with that is one of the hardest challenges in my life. Connecting with someone to the point of meaningful relationship is just too hard when there are so many issues dancing in your mind, or when you are emotionally illiterate. Not getting the opportunity to fully interact with people that share my age is another big problem. I'm just afraid one day I will wake up and cry to the fact that I never had the chance. And when I had it, I just didn't have the confidence to make use of it. I just want to save enough to go to college. That's all, I will take care of the rest of the problems later. I know that is a mistake, but I can not deal with too many things at this time.